“I want to spoil you.” (Aka if your partner buys you excessive gifts in a short amount of time.).If you’re looking for more specifics, here’s what a love bomber might say, says Jackson:

Other narcissistic cult leaders like Jim Jones and David Koresh used a similar method of excessive positive reinforcement in order to manufacture feelings of intense unity and loyalty.Īre You in a Toxic Relationship? What are some signs you are being love bombed?ĭating a love bomber isn’t going to look the same in every situation, but a few telltale signs of a love-bombing partner are extravagant gifts, obsessive flattery, constant complimentary texting, and always expecting a prompt reply. Members of the Unification Church of the United States (a notorious cult better known as the Moonies) love bombed new recruits to encourage them to join their fellowship. While it’s common behavior among narcissists, as Kaplan mentions, love bombing wasn’t first coined by psychologists but by famous cult leaders. Then, when they feel like they really got the person and they feel secure in the relationship, the narcissist typically switches and becomes very difficult, abusive, or manipulative.” She adds that the same person who was just super idealizing of their partner will switch to devaluing them. “It’s about really getting the other person. “Love bombing is largely an unconscious behavior,” Kaplan says. The overall goal? To enhance their ego by gaining power over those being pursued.Īnyone is capable of love bombing, but it’s most often a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder, according to Ami Kaplan, LCSW, a psychotherapist in New York City. “Love bombers seek to quickly obtain the affection and attention of someone they are romantically pursuing by presenting an idealized image of themselves,” says Lori Nixon Bethea, PhD, owner of Intentional Hearts Counseling Services. Like mentioned above, love bombing is a manipulative tactic used by narcissistic and abusive individuals. Horrifying, right? So to help you understand more about what love bombing is and potential warning signs you can look out for, we’ve tapped a bunch of experts to help you navigate a potentially love bomber situation. But once he gains their trust, the conning, manipulation, and scheming begins.

He showers new Tinder matches with massive flower bouquets, private planes, love, affection, and all the affirmation they could ever want right from the beginning. Simon Leviev, a supposedly wealthy diamond mogul who travels all over the world, eats at the finest restaurants, and stays at high-end hotels, is the definition of a love bomber. If you need an IRL example of what this looks like, watch Netflix’s new documentary The Tinder Swindler. But then, later on, your relationship may turn into something you don’t even recognize. Like, all the validation and affirmation you’ve been waiting for. You might think you’ve found someone who is not only into you but also showers you with attention, love, gifts, etc. You feel special, needed, loved, valuable, and worthy, which are all the components that contribute to and increase a person’s self-esteem.”Īt the beginning, everything may seem perfect-maybe even too perfect. “And as the recipient, love bombing feels really good because of the boost of dopamine and endorphins you receive. “Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person,” says licensed therapist Sasha Jackson, LCSW.

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